Nature is a Male!

Years ago I was a long haul truck driver.  I drove all over North America.  I have over half a million miles behind me.  I trained 3 males on how to drive the mountains on the west coast.  I did this job for 9 years.  Now I write.

In those 9 years, there was plenty of time while I was driving to think about life and some of the oddness of it all.  I would like to share some of my thoughts with you, right now.

I would wonder about certain things such as people and why do they say the things they do?  I would also think about certain events in my life.  Sometimes these two separate thoughts would join together, in my mind to bring out one brilliant idea!

An idea started by re-thinking this: I knew a girl in the hospital once who needed to get her ‘lazy eye’ fixed.  Her doctor took her eye-ball out of its socket and laid it on her cheek, while he did what he needed to do. 

I cannot forget this thought of her eye-ball and the thought of people speaking out, the idea formed.  What if we can ‘pop’ our eyes out of their sockets and replace them facing inwards?  Would you be able to read your thoughts before you say them?  Can or would the world change and be a better place to live in?  Maybe the rule that all parents tried to teach:  ‘think before you speak’ would really mean something? 

Ah, the stories between the sexes must have started when Adam was told about Eve.  Every generation has their jokes about the different stages of a women’s life cycle and the mind-less manners of the male form!

I have come to realize that G-d (Nature) needed to laugh out loud so he made us the same in many ways, But so different in others.  I think he enjoys the cosmic energy that comes off of us when two different but yet, the same species start to interact with each other.  When a male and a female get together and try to interact and the message gets lost and tangled up, that is when Nature sits back with a cold brew and laughs.  I believe that Nature made us like this, males do not understand females and guess what?  It is the same for females, we do not understand the males.  It is chemical you know!  It is Nature’s game for his amusement, instead of the Grey Cup!

Two other ideas have crossed my mind when driving.  This is a piece of thought that maybe some will get angry at.  Please, just read the whole column and then get angry if you must.

Nature, the thing that made us and our earth is male.  Yes he is and I can prove it.  Ladies come closer and males, you can stop grinning now!

Nature is a guy.  If Nature was a female than males would get ‘o-pause’ when they were at their best.  If males got ‘o-pause’, then they would have their body parts reach the ground instead of ours.  We females, would only worry about our nose and ear hairs!  That would be classified as a wonderful life for females!

Nature is a guy cause females get their monthly friend, instead of the males. Why did we get this fun activity?  And listen up males, she is not my friend, my true friends know my name!

Males get off the hook by not getting a monthly anything.  Nature is male because at the mid-life crisis age he goes out and buys a Corvette, usually a rosy red one.  Roof is down and the sunny weather just blows his hair, usually I see this as: roof is down and the sunny weather just blows his little wig off!  I am allowed to think that, oy, I have cramps!

The males rides off in their red new cars while us females are so hot, we are slowly starting to strip our clothes off.  Menopause is what we get instead of a little red thing.  Our body parts are sinking towards hell, some of us will have side effects to help us though this era.  The guys now will say, no worry, no babies!  no condoms needed! 

And during all of this, Nature is laughing!


About fromrochellespen

I am a content writer, my passion is writing. My background is marketing/communications. I have written a Direct Mailing Postcard for a Real Estate Agent's campaign. Right now, I am volunteering my time at a local University's radio station as their writer and I also volunteer, as a weekly columnist on a website for pet lovers
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2 Responses to Nature is a Male!

  1. societyred says:

    Interesting post. No anger here, just curiosity. I used to drive a lot at a previous job (but not a trucker…hats off to you!), I came to the conclusion that I had too much time to think about crazy stuff. I’m glad I don’t drive too much at work anymore. Love the idea about looking at your thoughts before speaking. Wouldn’t that save some embarrassment? I’m pretty sure you got it right when you say nature is laughing. I don’t have a corvette but I still have my hair and I’m well past middle age. I’m good with that! I love the way you write!

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